Hi everyone! Before I get started today, I just want to take out the time to thank you for all of your support and kind words. They are very much appreciated. It is a blessing for others to see that there are people who care, and want to give their support. It's not always easy to type every week, but it is very much worth it. MUAH!!!
This week I wanted to share something uplifting. Though this is a sensitive subject, there should always be time to take five and smile. Everything in my life is not perfect, as a matter of fact somethings are just down right jacked up! But I will not allow anything to steal my joy. I am a single mother with three children, and they keep me extremely busy. I work and go to school full time. And now I am a blogger! Although I barely have time to sit down and breathe, God has allowed me to find joy in my circumstances. There are times when I am so sick and tired of talking about the abuse. There are also times when I think you are sick of me talking about the abuse. But when I think about all the women, as well as men, that are holding a secret, I know I have to move myself out of the way and move forward into my assignment.
I remember a time when I was about six years old and I was playing with a doll, or some toy, in my mother's room. I was just doing what six year olds do. While I was on her bed I can remember as plain as day something said to me, "there is something special about you." At the time I remember thinking in my head, wow there is something special about me. I didn't know what it was, and honestly didn't really pay it anymore attention, but I will never forget it. I truly believe that was God's way of protecting my mind. He knew that a time would come when I would have to remember that. His love is absolutely amazing! Now I do have to admit that right before I started blogging when I was trying to understand my assignment, I questioned some things. My thought was that if God knew this was my purpose and my assignment, then He surely had to have known that I was going to be a victim of childhood rape. So if that is the case, and He knew that, then why would He have allowed me to endure something like that? I didn't question for long, because one thing that I did know was that God would never purposely make that situation happen. Sadly we live in a sinful world, and people will not always make wise choices. It's terrible that things of this nature happen, but they do. I also know that no matter what happens in my life, good or bad, it will all work out for my good. In this case not only for my good, but for the good of others. Now other people can know my past, and see that even though it was not favorable, I still have a smile on my face! Although you may have gone through the same thing as me, or may have experienced another form of abuse, I want you to know that weeping only endures for a night. I wept for over 30 years, and didn't even know it!! I wasn't physically weeping, but the silence was draining me emotionally. If you all could know the joy I have in my heart today. I am no longer bound! Amazing that a terrible situation that was meant to destroy me, ended up being the one thing to turn my whole world around. My breakthrough came when I finally decided to open up mouth and allow victory to come forth. Amazing!!!
I held on to that 3/4 year old little girl all these years. When my sister and I first told our cousin what happened, she wanted us to immediately tell our mother, but we were resistant. I remember her stepping back and looking at us. Her words were, "why are you two acting like you're still 4 and 5?" At that moment I thought she is absolutely right! We held on to those little girls all that time. While we were so busy trying to bury that situation, we were also burying peace, hope, and joy. I'm sure somebody is thinking, how can you have joy out of that situation? I no longer have the burden of holding on to it. It's out now, and hiding that part of my life is no longer an option. I found out how to be naked and unashamed. Whatever you are holding on to that is keeping tears in your heart, it's time to let it go! Weeping endures for a night, but joy will come in the morning! Be encouraged, and remember your voice has a right to be heard!
Have a fantastic week!
MOVING 4WARD is now on Facebook! We have dedicated a page for your support, encouragement, and information. Due to the sensitivity of the matter it is a closed group so that the public cannot view comments. If you would like to be added, let me know and I will add you to the group!
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